Up to date: Things don’t always improve.

It’s been two weeks and I don’t seem to be over you. I’m trying my best, yet here I am. Wide awake when I should be long asleep. Another thing that’s been bothering me is the lack of self-respect I seem to bear. Jesus, do I need an intervention? Perhaps, what I need is a reality check. Do I ant to change? Definitely. Can I change on my? I think it’s possible; but I think my mind is set to some sort of standard of a prince in a white horse awaiting in the corner to save me in the right timing.

There’s no such thing in real life. I think I’ve spent a great chunk of my life lost inside romantic books and TV shows. That was my truth. Now I don’t even know what I’m after. I have this urge to be loved when in fact I don’t love myself. In the end it all comes to this – I scared little boy trying to find himself in this scary world. Hate to break it for you, dear me, but you’re screwed. Life’s not as easy or exciting as you think (hope) it is.

And the saddest part is: I’m used to it. I open wide to everything, I hive too much and get not that much in return. Any day now I could find myself drowned in my own sadness and that’s when I’m gonna never pull myself from that pool again. It scares me, and I lack to will to change. Why’s that? Why I’m writing this cry for help for?

Do you even care?

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Up to date: Things don’t always improve.

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